i sit under the blue mango tree

indigo night sparkles with children’s laughter

quoting dylan red wine breath the morning after

i remember how he sang to me,

‘to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free’

it’s a poem, this moment

this moon glow on it’s way, waning.

it’s a poem, this breath, diamond sent

power seeping earth, mixing heaven scent.

a crystal glance suspended, hanging,

twanging and changing

this poem, this moment

undone, unbroken, unspent

i sit under this blue mango tree

india’s red roots growing deep into rock

as the ladies drink chai, and sing their day’s talk

legs draped over cool cement, casually

baby swings high, screaming sublime glee

i sit under this blue mango tree

electricity’s gone, the dark soft falling ‘round

the moment hangs like the cluster mango i found

shy woman’s brown eyes flashing asunder

calling the faint clouded thunder

Labels: Bangkok, canceled wedding, fire, India

Roots and Remembrances

I know it’s been many months since I last posted a blog but the time seems just to swirl on by and before I know it, so many days have passed. I am now in McLeod Ganj, home of the Dalai Lama, the compassionate King of Tibet who lives here in exile, welcomed by India fifty some years ago. The last time I walked these paths was four years ago, when I grieved for a lost daughter and planned our wedding in Nepal. And before that, it was seven years ago when I studied Tai Chi and went to the Dalai Lama’s teachings. And now, the passing of days becomes suns rising over moons and setting over suns again. I watch my daughter grow in wonderment, prepare for more teachings from the Dalai Lama, note the quietness that grows steadily within and settle down to a cup of tea as the rain pours away in the brilliant monsoon green Himalaya mountains.

Before leaving Varkala in June, I had a Reiki session with one of my students. As a gifted and intuitive man, on the healer’s path, I relaxed deeply into the session while he focused the treatment on my left leg and foot. They had been hurting, partly from too many hours spent over Reiki clients, barefoot on concrete, passing Reiki for hours from January to May. Aaah, the paradox of healing…heal thyself, heal thyself I tell my students over and over, as the primary motto for Being a Healer. Afterwards, he and I talked about my foot and he mentioned to me, ‘Well you are returning to your roots, after all,’ meaning the east coast of the U.S. But I dismissed this idea, as I have been returning to Maryland every year to visit family and friends. But, funnily enough, this time WAS different and certainly a return to my roots, roots of many colors and many depths.

We arrived in Maryland the weekend of Leon’s father’s funeral. Leon’s father, Don French, received two purple hearts for his bravery in the Second World War and we attended a special ceremony at the Arlington Cemetery where both he and Leon’s mother were laid to rest. The day was hot and bright as we heard the 21 gun salute and the haunting sound of taps wind its way over the most honorable place of burial in the US. A lovely night was spent with the French family, telling stories, giving gifts, drinking wine and reminiscing on those who walk the earth and retire, their stories left in the hearts among the living.

This summer was a time of deep rest for me, as I was so busy last season at the Rubybleu House, hosting travelers, giving Reiki sessions and teaching. I spent most of my time with my family, almost in a kind of hibernation, resting and rejuvenating.

And I reconnected with family and friends in a way I haven’t done for years. My sister came back to plan her wedding and we hung out in Maryland together. The last time we were together in our parent’s home was six years ago. I also saw one of my cousin’s after eight years and even reconnected with old friends from high school. It really was an unexpected return to the roots, a time to celebrate my lovely family and friends from a decade before. It is remarkable how people can come back into our lives and grace us with new gifts, spontaneous joys and old memories.

Yoko had a fabulous time with her grandparents, Uncle Paul, Aunt Carmen and dear cousins. One of the highlights was certainly the Harry Potter Ball which was held at the local bookstore to hype the final release of the last Harry Potter book. I decided to dress Yoko up in Beth’s old witch hat and cape, made by Mom/Jane/Nana and still shining blue. Pointed hat atop all that wild blonde hair an adorable Indian dress was too much cuteness for the crowd and she ended up being crowned Queen of the Harry Potter Ball! This landed us fourth instead of three-hundredth in line to buy the book. And the seventh installment is well worth the read, let me tell you!

I also took a lovely workshop, an introductory exploration of shamanism where we journeyed the deeper, rooted connection to the Earth. Through drumming, working with power animals and dancing we discovered the interconnectedness of ancient traditions. The workshop, taught by Dana Cougar Robinson, is from Michael Harner’s Foundation of Shamanic Studies and well worth looking into. My experiences of journeying were profound and provided me with deep insights into my earth adventure. Check out http://www.fss.org/ for more info.

This summer was also a time to nourish the roots that have been formed by Rubybleu House and Rubybleu Foundation. We are gearing up for next season:

So now, as I settle down to write my Reiki Warrior book, I find myself still remembering the past of these familiar misty mountain paths. I revisit the Dalai Lama’s temple but carry new wisdom of the Kalachakra (wheel of time) vision that came to me some months ago. I reminisce about old
friends, special Dharma connections and the profound wisdom teachings that come from the Buddha.

I smile deeply because sharing this place with Yoko was very special for Leon and I. She was enchanted by the ‘froggies’ (the fog) coming into the mountains, the monks in their red robes who to her are all the Dalai Lama, the sound of the long Tibetan horns blowing in mid-morning, the flames that burn constantly in the temple, the gold statues glittering with gems, simultaneously symbolizing illusion and wisdom, spinning the red prayer wheels, watching the prayer flags flutter their prayers to the sky. Yes, we do love this path of Dharma and continue to water the seeds of Love and Light in little Yoko and ourselves. So, the ‘froggies’ are coming in…and I begin my month of quiet writer’s retreat of solitude, while Yoko
and Leon head back to Rubybleu house.

Hope to see you all there this season!

Until next time,

Katalin

Impermanence

These past days I have been reacquainting myself with the basic concepts of the Buddha Dharma. One of the main teachings is the mediation on Death and Impermanence. In light of the recent death of Leon’s father as well as the intense tragedy of Virginia Tech, my contemplation has been compounded with the reality of how precious Life really is. And life is so precious only because we die, because our bodies, our selves are walking this earth for such a short time, because nothing lasts forever and impermanence is the true nature of the Universe.

I am blessed in a way, in the paradox of Blessings, having experienced cancer at nineteen and a baby death at twenty-six because the stark reality of Death and Impermanence stood in front of me, shining truth onto my face. This is a Blessing because having not only understood and realized the concept of death, I have experienced it as well. And, from these experiences I have taken the wisdom of imbuing the moment, every moment, with the sacred awareness of Being. In other words, I try not to waste time. Each day I make an effort not to spend the moments of my life worrying or fretting or unnecessarily analyzing and judging. Instead I concentrate on cultivating compassion and dedicating each day to healing and helping others to ease their suffering. And, of course, I count my blessings and enjoy the beauty of this world. I celebrate my life through art, poetry, dance and openness and provide a space for others to do the same.

The afternoon is shimmering in our magical, tropical garden. As I breathe, write these words, contemplate Death, I am struck, not by the horror of tragedy but by the suffering of those who have inflicted the horror. The suffering and fear that may come as one passes from this realm into the next is something to be thought about, dealt with care and compassion. And yet, I know that life indeed emerges from the ashes, that rebirth is one of the most powerful forces in the universe.

An old and dear friend of mine, Janel Beckham, Virginia Tech Alumnus is also honoring the power of rebirth by dedicating her time to honor those who have suffered in the tragic loss. She is compiling a special project called Resignation and Bloom: Words for Hope and Healing, an edited collection of creative writing, essays and images which will be presented as a gift of hope to the Department of English during the weekend of May 12, 2007 during Virginia Tech’s commencement festivities.

Please visit http://www.resignationandbloom.com/ to find out more about this incredible project, submit poetry and artwork and donate funds.

I am always struck by the beauty of people coming together to honor those who have passed on. This summer we will be showing our respect for Leon’s father in Arlington Cemetery in Washington D.C. His mother will be buried alongside in a special ceremony for war veterans.

And, as some things pass, others continue to grow. Rubybleu Foundation is proud to announce we have enough funds to give three scholarships for children to attend higher education next year. Also, with the welcome help of Sabrina Davis, a social worker from England, we have begun development for a Volunteer Program in concert with the Sister Mercy Education and Resource Center just near Trivandrum, Kerala. Stay connected to http://www.rubybleu.org/ to find out how you can come and volunteer in India to teach English, assist women’s groups and work with Free Trade.

Leon, Yoko and I will be visiting the States June 15th through July 24th. We will be in the Maryland, Washington D.C. area for most of the time and in the Bay Area of California June 20th to 28th. I will be teaching Reiki Warrior: First Degree Reiki in San Francisco and Columbia Maryland.

In the meantime, the garden, the Reiki, the Yoga, the beach, the sun, the mystical chants of India’s dawn seed our soul and allow us to Be more deeply, to honor the precious Life and remember that every breath is sacred.

Till next time,
Peace,
Katalin

The past two and a half months feel like they’ve streamed by in a colorful, magical blur. A month after Yoko’s birthday, we held our annual Winter Solstice gathering where burning my fears and stating my intentions loud and clear to the Universe seems to have worked quite well.

January was a wonderful time with Mom/Nana visiting from the U.S. and Carmen and Esan from Thailand. We all had a great time hanging out in Varkala, enjoying the beach, the cliff food and our LOVE party. Leon and I said our vows again, wearing our wedding clothes, adorned with jasmine and marigolds. We honored Carmen and Esan’s engagement with Mom between us, holding a clear space for Carmen and I and our great loves.

Of course, the extraordinary highlight of the whole trip was the weekend visit to the Maldives. Yoko still talks about the airplane to the Maldives and all the fish. After a hair raising boat ride across open ocean water, I felt blessed to be swimming along magnificent coral atolls, witnessing not only hundreds of colored fish, but two sea turtles and a few eagle spotted rays! Seeing those soft, flying beauties winging their way through the deep indigo water really made my heart soar.

Other news is that the site www.matadortravel.com has just launched which connects unique travelers from all over the world. I will be publishing articles about people in India so check it out and use it to hook up with travelers, writers, artists, visionaries.

The Rubybleu Foundation is pleased to announce that Gigi, our first scholarship recipient is doing very well in her college education. We met with her during Christmas break and are happy to see her moving forward in her schooling. We hope to continue support for her as well as giving two more scholarships next year.

The season is flying by and I’m meeting such wonderful people this year, healers, artists, dancers, writers and others who are dedicating themselves to building a community in Varkala. The flavor of this village is diversifying and growing each year and I wholeheartedly welcome you all to come and partake in the beauty of living by the sea and in the magick that is India.

Much love and light,
Katalin

Create…Dance…Laugh…Love

The season has begun in our lovely little village of Varkala. We are still waiting for the rains to stop though, as the monsoons have been pushed back a few weeks, which is good for the farmers, bad for the beach. Still, the air is swirling and whirling with some kind of magic as new, creative people join our small village adding bright ideas, color and change.

Yoko is now two and fast becoming a little girl. She had an excellent birthday party with friends and babies and games and two piñatas. We had a cake and a candle and billions of mutai (Malayalam for candy). She is really growing up in a wonderful world with the nature all around, international friends and her own little private garden fairyland.




Rubybleu Foundation has two new web pages up including the information about the last fundraiser in Oakland and my gratitude to all involved.
http://www.rubybleu.org/events/08122006.html

We are excited to announce that we gave one full year scholarship for college to a poor but extremely bright girl from a poverty stricken fishing village near Trivandrum. Her story can be found at
http://www.rubybleu.org/projects/gigi.html

We are also working to raise money to support her second year, a cost of only $250 USD. Other students also need scholarships. These are smart, bright children who have a desire to help their village grow into modern times, as fishing traditions wane. I feel very excited about giving scholarships to these young people of Bimapalli and would encourage you to contribute in your own way. These children have the emotional support and need such little financial effort to continue their schooling. The tuition center is also in dire need of library books, resource materials and computers so donations will be used for this as well.

We are also looking for more ways in which Westerns can volunteer here in India. We have a great connection with the fishing village and several young women work there who would like to learn more English and handicrafts. If anyone has any wish to volunteer for one to three months, please contact us and we can set up a program for you.

As Rubybleu’s birth—death anniversary approaches, Leon and I are looking to ways to help the Foundation grow. We, like most small non-profits, struggle with fundraising and are working on ideas that will help to bring in more money from this side of the world. We are also finding that as Yoko grows, as Rubybleu House grows, so does our busy life and we work to balance all of our projects in a meaningful and effective way.

In the meantime, I’ve finished Slade, finally! I printed out a few copies for reading, sent it off to publishers and am looking to do some small self-publishing as well. I am also now writing for an online zine called http://www.matadortravel.com/ This site will be up for public viewing in the next month. And I’m learning guitar, which is great fun. I can play a few songs, and am trying to do my best interpretation of a female Bob Dylan. We look forward to my mom, sister and her boyfriend for a visit and all kinds of friends and travelers on the Magical Mystery Tour.

Love to all and peace from swirly-whirly India,
Katalin

Returns

Months have passed since I last shared with you from my corner of the globe with all of you but I am starting to really feel like my corner is more like a spacious network in continuous shift. Ironically, the last time I wrote about the idea of ‘bloom where you are planted,’ then proceeded to take off from our sweet little home in Varkala, traveling to Bangkok, Thailand, California, Maryland, Connecticut, New York City, Florida, Las Vegas and back on through California and Bangkok. I felt like a whirlwind to say the least, like a dandelion mama scattering her seed pods across the lands yet, all the while my heart remained centered and open. I enjoyed seeing family and friends all over the country but the highlights were: Manhattan at four in the morning with an old friend and Italian coffee, playing in a New England rose garden with the oldest and youngest of my family: Yoko and her great- Grandpa, seeing Yoko with her cousins, meeting Leon’s entire family in Vegas, visiting with my relaxed and retired parents in a quiet Floridian town and, the best of all, watching Yoko go crazy for Blue Man Group. It was quite a summer of abundance and Love and connectedness.






Throughout my travels, my psychic roots in Varkala remained strong and I am enjoying sinking them back into the red, soft earth letting myself slow down and Flow. We spent our return happily enjoying two gorgeous weeks of bright sun, clear weather and Onam festivities. Onam is the time when the great Kerala king, Mahabali, returns in joy to celebrate his precious land of abundance: miles of coconuts, full rivers, lush fruits and glittering gold. In his honor all Keralites, Hindus, Christians and Muslims alike, light huge oil lamps decorated with sweet smelling jasmine, make lovely flower mandalas called attam on the streets and in front of their homes, and spend hundreds of Rupees on new clothes. It reminds me a little of Christmas: the return of a king, big feasts and yummy sweets, mad shopping and no work for a week. Leon, Yoko and I spent the days walking around the neighborhoods and checking out the lovely attam designs (akin to viewing Christmas lights I think), eating delicious South Indian food at friend’s homes and unpacking our Western treats from all our suitcases that we managed to lug across the globe.

Rubybleu House is looking beautiful, having been well kept by a friend over the summer monsoon months. Hundreds of passion fruit have sprung up, huge, sweet yellowy fruits unique to our garden. The rest of the garden was lush and jungly and Leon had to spend a few days hacking it back and clearing the paths so Yoko can run along her own private fairyland once again (naked, of course). She loves the garden, walking with her cane, playing tea party and building sand castles in the backyard.

Since our August fundraiser, the rubybleu foundation has given its first scholarship to a young woman from a very poor fishing village. Gigi, born to an unwed mother, has managed to fight the overpowering culture of poverty and oppression and rise above her situation. At the top of her class, she was accepted to an excellent college just 40 kilometers north of Varkala. We provided the tuition necessary to complete the first year of schooling and hope to continue giving her the support to finish her Bachelor of Science degree. I am very excited to be supporting a young woman who has such a bright future and has already overcome so much. The article about Gigi and the Centre which we are connected with will be online next week at www.rubybleu.org/projects

In the meantime, I’ve turned thirty and as a friend says, welcome to the Power Years. I had a lovely, quiet birthday celebration on my friend’s rooftop café. And a few days ago I rented a room, or part-time office, on the South Cliff of Varkala (as opposed to the North Cliff where our house is), at the Golden Beach Resort. This time on the South Cliff, which is very quiet, windy and has a true panorama view of the sea, is also a break from the intensity of Babytime all summer long which, as all you mama’s know, only makes the work of Motherhood that much more enriching.

Take care and hope to see more of you on this corner of our shrinking Earth….Peace,
Katalin